Oil found on Saturn’s moon Titan, Republican Party wants to know if there is life

A group of scientists from the Washington University have found huge resources of fossil fuel on Titan, the moon of Saturn. The discovery was made after years of analysis from the data sent by Voyager which collected data from Titan.

Crude OIL is buried deep under the surface of Titan and it could fuel North America for the next 300 years and more.

GOP today passed a bill in congress to switch some funds from NSA to NASA so that they can intensify the search of life of the ‘rich’ moon.

“We do believe that there is some kind of life on Titan,” said Ted Cruz, “As Carl Sagan said if there is no life on Titan is awful waste of all that oil.”

The bill was drafted and introduced by Cruz who reportedly received $800 million in bribery (sorry, it’s legazlise and called campaign funds) by the Koch Brothers to divert all NASA resources in finding life on Titan.

Bill O Riley supported the move and stated on FOX News, “Pinhead argue what has oil to do with life. Tell me a single place, I repeat, a single place on Earth where you can find oil but no oil. None. It doesn’t happen that way. If there is Oil, there has to be life. And our experience with life here on Earth has not been very pleasant. Everywhere there is life and oil there is conflict, there are tyrants trying to destroying American way of life. Freedom. That’s what happens so if there is oil on Titan, it’s clear indicator that there is some conflict, some tyranny – people suffering under suppression and we can’t help those people unless we find them. So we should fund NASA so they can find those life forms which need our help. We, Americans are ready to help them.”

Cenk Uygur of the Young Turks refuted GOP’s NASA funding. “GOP knows that it’s going to be extremely expensive for companies to bring oil from Titan from Earth. Only way to reduce that cost is by using taxpayers money. A military invasion of Titan would shift that cost from companies to taxpayers and that’s what is their agenda.”

If you want to read more satire by Swapnil Bhartiya under ‘Damn-O-Crazy’ section, you can circle him and Damn-O-Crazy page on Google+, Twitter and Facebook. We also have an RSS Feed in case you are interested.

About Swapnil Bhartiya

A free software fund-a-mental-ist and Charles Bukowski fan, Swapnil also writes fiction and tries to find cracks in the paper armours of proprietary companies. Swapnil has been covering Linux and Free Software/Open Source since 2005.

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